My oldest son is now 17 years old, driving a car and driving me crazy! Our relationship has gone from mother/baby to mother/young man. It has evolved into friendship consisting of understanding and trust on both our parts, and that was no easy challenge. Teenagers can be challenging, but I think he and I get along beautifully and we have a very open relationship, one that I wasn't able to have with my own parents, so I treasure it very, very much.
My middle son is now 10 years old, getting into an age where he is finding his own identity and doesn't want to "need mommy" all the time. He is very independant, and takes his role of big brother (to his little brother) very seriously. He comes to me as a last resort, because he feels like he's a big boy now and can do everything on his own. Our relationship has probably been the most challenging because he doesn't like to be seen as a baby, and thinks I embarass him all the time. It has been hard to watch him grow and let him become independant, even more challenging that my oldest, I'm not sure why?????
Lastly, there's my baby who is not so much of a baby if you see him. He may be 8 years old, but he thinks he's 2! That one needs me for everything and he's not embarassed to say it. He and I still have a mommy/baby relationship and I'm not going to lie, I'm glad he's growing up slower than the other two. I can really understand how people always said that kids grow up too fast. I love our relationship and I wish I could keep him this age forever!
It may be difficult at times to juggle the three relationships I have with my children, but I try my best to be fair and give each equal attention. It's true that sometimes I'm pulled in three different directions, but I wouldn't want it any other way.
Having and maintaining positive relationships comes from within ourselves. If you approach a relationship in a positive mindframe, chances are you will have positive results. These are the most important relationships in my life and they have each shown me how to be more caring, empathatic, nurturing and loving which in turn has made me a better teacher.
I show love, respect, empathy and care for every one of my students. I make sure to treat them fairly and most importantly, I treat them the way I would hope my children are treated by their teachers.
I enjoyed reading your blog! I am still fairly young, therefore I do not have any children yet. My best friend has two kids, one is 2 and the other is 6. Her daughter, which is 2, always wants to be by her side. I'm sure having three sons is hard, but in the long run, the love and relationships will grow every day. There may be disagreements or arguments, but that is what makes each relationship stronger. I remember right when I got my driver's license, my parents were nervous about me driving by myself. But the trust developed our relationship! Your kids are all handsome!
ReplyDeleteHi Janet,
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful testimonial for your children. I also love how you have shared that you treat your students the way you would like your children to be treated by their teachers. What a profound yet simple way to look at it. This would be the best and most effective method of being a teacher!!
I am neither a parent nor a teacher at this stage of my life but I hope to be both in the future, and when I do that, I will be sure to think of this post of yours. Thanks!!
Divya
Your sons are so handsome Janet! We have such different relationships with each of our children; reading that others share similar experiences to mine is validating. It sounds as if your ability to individualize your responses to match the individual needs of your sons has worked very well for you and for them.
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