GOOD- BYE Communications Course....

Just want to say THANK YOU to all my colleagues in this Communications Course.  It's been a great learning experience to share ideas and insights with you and from you.....feel free to keep in touch through this blog or email me at:  janetcoloma@verizon.net.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL.....

JANET

Week 6- Team Adjourning

When I consider the five stages of team development, and I focus on the dissolution of a team, I can recall leaving my last job and the wonderful group of people I worked with.  It was a private school, and although I loved the location, the people, the curriculum, EVERYTHING, it was financially possible for me to stay when compared to going to work for a public school district.  That was a really tough decision for me, but I had to do it for my family.

The biggest closing ritual I guess we did was a going away party for me with my co-workers, students and their families.  They had a big party for me at the end of the year and the children made me a book drawing pictures of their favorite day with Ms. Janet.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I couldn't have asked for a better good-bye.  Seriously.  I will never forget it.

I'm sure that when I complete my Master's and say goodbye to this group of colleagues, it will be difficult too.  I feel that we have collaborated and learned a lot from each other.  We are in all parts of the world, and so we've brought many different sides to discussions, but I know that many of us will stay in touch and use each other as references in our future endevours.  I think adjourning is an essential part of team development and dissolution mainly because we can reflect on our successes, thank one another for the great ideas that we brought to the table and feel the accomplishment of having reached a goal and reached it together, as a team! 

I'm sure going to miss everyone when this comes to an end, but it's a joyous ending for sure!

Conflict Resolution -

Conflict Resolution, ahhh, those two words that everyone knows but everyone hates.  Nobody likes conflict, at least I don't think they do.  Not only is it draining on you but it's draining on those around you.  I can remember a conflict that I had just a week ago, and it's very personal so I can't really share the details in case that person is reading my blog, but let's just say it was two strong personalities arguing their side of an issue that has created great distance between the two people for years and years.  The issues at this point aren't important anymore, it's the distance that stands.  We are strangers because of life's past events and because responsibility can't be taken and apologies aren't happening, we are getting NOWHERE.

I must take responsibility for being on the attack.  I wasn't violent, but very verbally aggressive, and I regret that very much but the circumstances of our conversation or argument created a hostile environment for both of us and it should never have taken place at that time.  Tension was high, stress was tremendous as we were losing a close family member, and I guess that's a time where families get together and things just seem to happen.

Looking back now, I know I have some repairing to do, I need to be more relaxed when this person approaches me again.  I need to listen and see if our conflict has a resolution.  It's so far beyond repair for me that I have to come up with a compromise that I can live with and work toward a better relationship in the future because our past is our past and really cannot be changed.  It's going to take a great effort on my part and I don't even know if I'm ready, but I am willing to be open to the possibility of moving forward once responsibility and acceptance is received.  I am going to try hard to practice the 3R's because it's the only way I think I can really try to resolve this conflict once and for all.....only then can we begin to heal.

What I learned about me

Well, this week I am writing in three entries because I suffered a great death in my family, the woman I loved more than anyone in the world, My Mother!  And it's been tough getting back to work, so here goes.

For Week 4:

After taking the quizzes to learn about myself as a communicator, I was most surprised to find that my husband's score for me was EXACTLY the same as the score I got for myself in the Verbal Aggressiveness and Listening Style profiles.  I was shocked because he (like most husbands) always says I don't listen enough, and I've been accused on more than one occasion to be a little loose with my words, so I was PLEASANTLY surprised to find that our scores were the same and that I am not imagining to be someone that I am not.

This week, learning about myself gave me a clearer picture of the area that I need to work on more; listening.  I am all about problem solving, so I know I'm guilty of trying to solve everything instead of really listening to people.  I learned that being empathetic begins with being a good listener and it helps build relationships.  I think that's an important part of any relationship, even with a strange.  I also learned that I am programmed to make judgments on appearance alone, and although it stems from past experiences and from media portrayal, I have to keep a close eye on my perceptions and judgments to make sure I'm being fair and equal to others.  Very interesting week.....

Cultural Diversity Communication Strategies

After learning all I have about communication the last few weeks, I have self-reflected and seen the differences in my communication with people from different cultures.  I do believe that I communicate differently, especially with the parents of my students.  I feel that I speak slower and I try to use very proper Spanish.  I know that's from own hang-ups about being corrected for my "Cuban slang Spanish" through the years.  I also find that I give a lot more detail on my Spanish directions to the parents because I feel that they just don't understand my directions most of the time, such as with homework assignments.  This has been from my previous experiences with Spanish-speaking families.

Some strategies that I could use when communicating with them more effectively is to withhold judgment and get a deeper understanding of them, instead of using my past experiences as my impression of ALL Spanish speaking families.  I also need to model things for them instead of giving so much direction so that they have an example to follow (when asking for family-made projects) and lastly create a better expectation of their abilities because I'm sure I could come off as coddling as compared to my English speaking parents who I just explain things to once and have an expectation that they know how to follow directions.

It's hard to be free of bias, especially when previous experiences have shown me to communicate a certain way with different people.  It's something that I am aware of and something that I know I must work on for the rest of my career.  It all begins with educating myself, so I'm ready to put this to practice!

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Jeannette

Communications in Mute

"Trophy Wife"

For this week's assignment, I chose to watch the show TROPHY WIFE which I knew nothing about.  First I watched it in mute, paying close attention to the non-verbal communication, then I watched it with the volume on and boy were my assumptions of what was going on way off.....

First of all, I assumed that the husband in the show lived with two wives and that those two wives were good friends.  The truth was that his ex-wife is always hanging around his house and his new wife really doesn't care for her much.  When the volume was on, they were very sarcastic to one another which in mute seems like genuine friendliness.  Very interesting!

Second, there were two other women in the show who had a couple of scenes together and I thought they were lesbians who were fighting, just because of the way they looked at each other and the closeness of their proximity in their interactions.  Well, again, truth is they just met and they weren't very nice to one another because one was a doctor who thought very little of the other, a mere bartender. 

If this had been a show that I normally watch, like Modern Family, I wouldn't have the same assumptions because I know the casts relationship with one another and it would have been easy to figure out what was going on in the episode, even on mute.

So, my biggest A-HA moment of this assignment was how SARCASM looks like genuine friendly interaction when you don't hear what is being said.  I have always hated sarcasm, and now hate it even more.  hahahahaha

Hope you enjoyed this post!  I for one, now picked up another show because Trophy Wife was actually a pretty funny show...(with the sound on!)

Janet

Communication - Blog 1

I consider my principal to have great communication skills.  She is very knowledgeable about early childhood education and helps to make all the teachers.  She always listens to our questions and concerns and validates our feelings.  That, in turn, makes us feel heard.  I would definitely like to be more like her because although she may have a strong opinion about something, she never forces it on us, instead is open-minded and listens to our suggestions.  I think that is a very important part of communication.  It's listening as well as giving your point of view.  It has to be two-sided.